Thinking about bringing toys into the bedroom but not sure how your partner will react? Sex toys for couples aren’t about replacing anyone. They’re about adding more pleasure, more play, and more connection to what you already share.
The good news? Couples who explore new things together often report feeling closer and more satisfied. This guide covers how to bring up the topic, the best types of couples’ toys to start with, and simple ways to make your first time together fun instead of awkward.
Why Couples Use Sex Toys
Let’s bust a myth right away: using toys doesn’t mean something is “missing.” Plenty of happy couples use them because they’re fun.
- More orgasms, more often. Many people with a vulva need direct clitoral stimulation to climax, which penetration alone often doesn’t provide. Read more in how clitoral stimulation can change your sex life.
- Less pressure. A toy takes the focus off “performing” and puts it on enjoying. If that sounds familiar, our guide on performance anxiety is worth a read.
- Novelty and excitement. Trying something new together is one of the easiest ways to keep long-term desire alive.
- Connection at a distance. App-controlled toys let you play together even when you’re miles apart.
How to Talk to Your Partner About Toys
The conversation is often scarier in your head than in real life. Here’s how to make it easy:
- Pick the right moment. Bring it up when you’re relaxed and close, not in the middle of sex or after an argument.
- Lead with “us.” Try: “I’ve been thinking it could be really fun to try something new together.”
- Reassure, don’t criticize. Make it clear this is about adding fun, not fixing a problem.
- Browse together. Scrolling through toys side by side turns the talk into a playful, shared decision.
- Respect a “not yet.” Consent and comfort come first. Sometimes an idea just needs time.
Best Types of Sex Toys for Couples
1. Vibrating Cock Rings
A perfect first couples’ toy. The ring sits at the base of the penis, helping with firmer, longer-lasting erections, while a small vibrator on top stimulates the clitoris during penetration. It’s a win-win and an affordable way to start. Try the budget-friendly Pretty Love Davion Vibrating Cockring or browse all cock rings.
2. Wearable Couples’ Vibrators
These C- or U-shaped toys are worn during sex, with one end stimulating the G-spot and the other the clitoris, while leaving room for your partner. Hands-free, intimate, and designed for two. The Love To Love Mr & Mrs Vibe is a favorite.
3. App and Remote-Controlled Toys
Hand your partner the remote (or the app) and let them take control. It’s playful, teasing, and perfect for date nights or long-distance love. The Svakom Pulse Union pairs with an app, and the COLT Rechargeable Turbo Bullet is a powerful, easy starter. Learn more in our app and remote-controlled vibrators buying guide.
4. Bullet and Wand Vibrators
Small but mighty, bullet vibrators are easy to hold between bodies during sex. Wands deliver deep, rumbly vibrations that feel incredible during foreplay. Check out our wand vibrator guide.
5. Sensual Extras
Not every couples’ toy has to buzz. Massage candles, blindfolds, and sex games are great low-pressure ways to explore together.
How to Use Toys Together for the First Time
- Start with foreplay. Introduce the toy during kissing and touching, rather than jumping straight in.
- Let your partner explore on you, then switch. Taking turns builds trust and helps you both learn what feels good.
- Begin on the lowest setting. You can always turn it up.
- Keep lube nearby. Water-based lube is safe with every toy. Read water-based vs silicone lube to learn why.
- Laugh about it. Buzzing noises and awkward moments happen. Humor keeps things light and sexy.
- Talk afterwards. What did you love? What would you change? This is where the magic grows.
Couples’ Positions That Work Great With Toys
- Spooning: Easy access for a bullet or wand on the clitoris while you stay close.
- Woman on top: Leaves hands free to hold a vibrator exactly where it feels best.
- Missionary with a cock ring: The vibrating ring does the work of stimulating the clitoris during every thrust.
- Doggy style: Reach around with a toy or let your partner hold it for you.
Want more ideas? Browse our best sex positions for clitoral stimulation.
Keep It Safe and Clean
Choose body-safe materials like silicone, and wash toys before and after every use. If you share toys or switch between anal and vaginal play, clean them in between or use a condom. Our guide on how to clean sex toys has every step covered.
Research from institutions like the Kinsey Institute keeps showing that novelty, communication, and play are key parts of lasting intimacy. A toy is simply another way to explore them together.
How to Choose Your First Couples’ Toy
With so many options, it helps to narrow things down before you shop. Ask yourselves these questions together:
- What do we want more of? Clitoral stimulation during sex points to a vibrating ring or wearable vibrator. More teasing and playfulness points to a remote-controlled toy.
- Hands-free or hand-held? Wearables and rings leave hands free; bullets and wands give you precise control.
- What’s our budget? A vibrating ring is a low-cost way to test the waters. App-controlled toys cost more but offer the most features.
- How discreet does it need to be? Quiet motors and compact designs matter if you share walls or travel.
Whatever you choose, pick body-safe silicone and a rechargeable model if you can. They feel better, last longer, and are easier to clean.
Ready to play together? Explore our full collection of sex toys for couples and find something you’ll both love.
